i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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