ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
