I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need a beard to bite.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
