isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
