Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
