Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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