Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
