do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
