one two three fourrrrnication!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
