Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
