worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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