Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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