isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
