a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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