Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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