His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
