It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Randomize
