i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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