the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
