I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
