I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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