do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i think i just lost a toe
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
