Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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