Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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