I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
ok first of all what the fuck
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
