dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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