you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
