Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
