i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
