who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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