Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
