so that wasnt chicken after all
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Michael Bay diarrhea
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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