awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
