I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
