Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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