the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
