dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
