i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
