he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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