What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
