i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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