Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
