both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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