oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
