Fuck appropriateness.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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