Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
