Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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