You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
