people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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