she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
