Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
