she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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