I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
