the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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